James gets glasses at Costco. Reflects on his family’s spiritual journeys. The mixed blessing of helping out with Family Fun Nights. The upcoming birthday of a lost friend. Going to Six-Flags cause he’s skinny enough to ride the roller coasters. His plans to attend a Five Iron Frenzy show in Chicago with is brother-in-law. Growing a beard to make his neck look good.
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Full Transcript:
Hi, welcome to the Gospel of Kenneson. This is James Kenneson and welcome to my personal audio journal. It is October 13th, 2024, and it’s a half hour till my bedtime. I’ve been kind of busy today and, Matter of fact, busy this whole weekend. And that is because the weekends have started to feel long, which they weren’t at first. And I was really worried about that because working full-time is new to me, as I’ve said, But now the weeks have started to fly by. Like every day is just the same kind of, you know how it is.
Like I do different stuff, but it’s become a pattern. And I get there and before I know it, it’s my first snack and then lunch and then my third snack and then it’s time to go home. And then I have time to come home and do podcasting. I figured everything out from last time. It’s basically it only took an extra week. I had to get this computer up and running. I had to get back to podcasting. But this weekend felt so long. And it’s partially because it started on Friday at 05:00 when I walked through the
door. I came home, I edited the podcast that I recorded on Thursday, got it out to my supporting listeners. And then just had a great, he had a great weekend. I got up early Saturday to go to my son’s cross country. And then I got to come home for a little bit and visit with him. And then I went to have an eye exam at Costco. Well, I didn’t go, I went to get my medicine, some of my crazy pills. And I was like, I wonder if I could get my glasses done here. Cause at Pearl
Vision, I’ve had a great experience except for with 1 doctor and she’s very old and has nothing to do with it. It’s just that she happens to be as mean as she is old. And my wife and I have done the math and she is over 80 and she’s still practicing, which is great, great for her, but she is a total butt. And so I called Pearl Vision and I said, who is my appointment with? And it was this doctor. I’m like, I would like to cancel. So when I was at Costco, I was like, hey,
they’re over there. I don’t see anybody in line. So I asked them if they had an appointment and we worked it out, man. I got 2 pair of glasses coming. I spent almost nothing. It’s ridiculous how good of a deal Costco is. So I got a pair of transition lenses, you know, like I have now that I’ll be able to wear most of the time. And then I got a pair just for sitting in front of that computer all day, like I do. So it made me happy. And they look just like my old ones. So,
you know, the old person part of me thinks that’s wonderful. So yeah, and the doctor was great. And there’s the people working with The frames were not sales many at all. They were just like, well, have a look. And when you find something you like, come on and see me. And I was like, that’s exactly what I wanted to do. I don’t want you upselling me on anything. And all of the frames were reasonably priced. It just was a great experience overall. And I’ve been very happy with our Costco thing. The only deal is that membership
at Costco comes with a whole lot of white people. Holy crap. You would not believe how many white people can fit together in 1 building. I mean, it’s just wall to wall whiteness and every kind of white you could imagine, like the old cranky kind that can’t hardly walk because they’re just so decrepit, the preppy, we got a new baby kind of people that their life is just ahead of them. And everything still seems so positive and awesome. There is a guy in a weird jacket. He was just wearing a weird jacket that had graphics, like
neon graphics all over it. It wasn’t even an old guy. It was a guy younger than me. And his clothes didn’t even match the jacket. I was just like, that’s unnecessary. Especially at a Costco. It’s not even Halloween yet. There’s just no excuse for that. He was walking the wrong way too. I was going into the store. He was trying to get out. I think maybe he was up to something. I don’t know. I would definitely have to be up to something to be wearing a jacket like that. I wish I had a camera in my
glasses that I could just snap my fingers and take a picture of whatever I’m looking at because dude, you do not believe that jacket. It was ridiculous. Like I can’t even describe the pattern. It was not Paisley, you know? Paisley is like a crazy thing now. It was really cool in the late 90s, but crazy, crazy. Now I had several silk shirts in the late 90s that were paisley. Back when I was thin, speaking of being thin, I’m at 193.5. Can you believe it? Last time I checked in, it was 195, now it’s 193. I was
195 for like a whole week. And then I thought, okay, I’m done, everything’s great. And then I got on the scale and had dropped a little bit more. I am seriously worried about losing my wedding ring. I used, like I said, I used to not wear it because I couldn’t get it on. And if I did get it on, I definitely couldn’t get it off and it hurt to wear. So I wore, you know, a plastic 1 for a long time. And then I was thrilled. It was a milestone when I could get it on. And
now I can get it off super easy. It just glides right off. And I’m just worried it’s gonna glide right off into a urinal. And let me tell you folks, the only urinal I use lately is the 1 at work. And it’s 1 of those waterless urinals. Ladies, you might not even know about these and gentlemen, they are very rare, aren’t they? Because they don’t operate with any water. So you’re peeing in a little pool of pee. And I guess the way it works, and I’m not trying to be gross, it’s just my mind has thought
about this a lot, several times a day, actually. As you’re filling it up, you know, like the water should be, instead of flushing, it just kind of seeps around the S-bend curve and pours into the sewer system. The unfortunate thing is you are peeing in a pool of pee, which is gross to me. I feel like there are germs that are faster than my urine stream that could climb up into my pee pee and give me diseases. Okay, so that’s a fear I have. Sharing with you personal inside James information. Maybe some of you can confirm
or deny that there are diseases that don’t spread that quickly. But secondly, they sometimes it smells, okay? It smells bad. It smells like old pee. It smells like an old man who peed himself and went to bed and got up and is trying to hug you. It smells really bad. And you’re stirring the waters with your own water and it’s not good. But last week was a blessing because somebody, I don’t know who, must have put some mints in there or something, some toilet mints or some juice or something because all of a sudden it was
the same situation, right? It hasn’t changed. My teeth are kind of on edge even talking about it peeing and someone else’s pee. It’s the worst. It is the worst. Oh, it’s so good for the environment though. Oh, but instead of the stank, it was menthol, you know, like a toilet tablet, you know, and I was so excited about this. I’m always looking for opportunities to try to reach out to my, to my peoples that I work with to try to be a light in the dark, you know. So I’m going to find out this week who
cleans the bathroom. And when I say that, I’m kind of joking because I don’t think that bathroom ever gets clean, but somebody sanitized that thing. Somebody made it bright and they need to be appreciated. So I’m gonna buy a gift card to a restaurant. Haven’t done it yet. And I’m gonna find out who did it. I’m gonna give it to them and say, thank you. And that’s my plan to do that. And I don’t know, sometimes I feel self-conscious about it, like I’m bragging, but first of all, let’s wait and see if I actually do it.
And then secondly, let’s just let it be an inspiration, because I don’t know, I’m just trying to find ways to make people not think Christians are stupid. Speaking of which, it’s funny, I don’t care anymore about people knowing I’m a Christian. It’s amazing to me that I ever did. I used to get so nervous talking about Christ. What it is, is first of all, I don’t care anymore. I realize everybody’s got their thing, right? And Nowadays of all days, it’s okay to have a thing. Everybody’s got a thing, right? They’re gay, they’re straight, they’re trans, they’ve
got mental issues, they’re on medication, they’re put upon, they’re a minority, they’re a top 1 percenter. I mean, everybody’s got a thing. And so Christianity just nowadays fits right inside 1 of those things. And so I don’t mind being, you know, like I want people to know. And secondly, I feel like I represent us properly or not us. I don’t want to be clumped in with some people, a lot of people actually. But I’m a Christ follower. That’s what I tell people. Because I’m a follower of the teachings of Christ. That’s what I am. And I
don’t mind saying that at all, because there’s no shame in that. There’s a little shame in saying you’re a Christian. But then you can tell them that you’re a follower of Christ and everybody likes Jesus. Nobody’s got a problem with him. You know, they got a problem with tongues. They got a problem with certain denominations. They have a problem with being judged. But to their knowledge, Jesus didn’t do any of those things. And kind of tells you something about people that call themselves Christ-like, right? So here’s a guy who doesn’t claim to be Christ-like, just claims
to be a Christ follower. So it takes some of the pressure off, right? Secondly, I think my depression and being so low and suffering has really tested my faith to the point that I know that I know that I know that there is a God and that Jesus died for our sins and he is real and he is the only way to heaven. And so I can speak matter of factly about it without being a judgmental. I don’t usually use the word prick, but it applies here. I can do it without being a judgmental prick. Prick
is to me is a bad word, but there it is. Because Jesus just loved people. And so all I have to do is love people. And so the donuts were part of that. A conversation I had with a coworker the other day was part of that. Cause he’s like, you’re a person of faith and you know, how are you seeing the, the political state stuff, you know? And he just was really digging in deep. So I was like, you open this door. As I told him, I said, I’m, I don’t know. I don’t know. I just,
I don’t know. I said, it’s funny you mention it, but we just had a sermon about how that Christians need to be more absorbed in the kingdom of God than the kingdoms of this world. I said, so I would say, first of all, that this is not something I sit and think about, you know, politics is not really my bag. I said, I will tell you this, that 10 years ago I was a dyed in the wool Republican, hardcore, you know, Hannity and, and what’s his name? Rush Limbaugh, you know, just toeing the line. I said,
you know, and, and nowadays I’ve got a big heart, bigger heart, and I see things a lot differently. I said, like, for instance, I believe people should come here legally, but I’ve stood on the banks of the river. Behind me was a dump full of Mexican families trying to make a living, throwing live wires over the cables in the sky to try to get electricity into their huts that they made out of trash. And over the river, you can see the tallest signs of water burger and other restaurants. And there is employment there. And I said,
you know what? If my family was starving, I’d swim over too. And he’s like, wow. I’m like, yeah, exactly. So I said, I love the Republicans. I mean, the Democrats, because they seem to be compassionate for people. I said, but on the extreme end, they use their compassion as a way to slick it up so they can get their ultra left liberal schemes in there. You know, I said, but on the right side, we’ve got these extremist, racist, you know, small minded white people with this crazy Trump guy. I said, I don’t know how I’m gonna
vote. I really don’t. I think I might go third party because it’s like, this is the best you could give us. My friend John says, I just don’t want 4 more years of the same thing. And I kind of get that and I agree with that. But at the same time, I’d love to vote the first woman president in too. So, you know, I don’t know, I don’t know. I believe in this. This is something the pastor said today, that God’s will is not determined by who gets elected into office, in particular the office of the
president of the United States. It’s not like He’s up there waiting and biting his nails, watching political coverage, saying, am I going to get my will done? Am I going to be able to influence things the way I want to? Now, the Bible says that he influences the kings of this world, like water in your, in his hand, in the palm of his hand. So he’s in the, in the great scheme of things. We shouldn’t worry as much as we do politically, I believe. We need to be more concerned about the kingdom of God. And That
is being a light in your area of the world. Here’s the, oh, another little side thing I realized this week, because I’ve always talked about the great commission and how that is the top thing for us. That is the thing that we should do. And I’ve been to churches recently and I love my little church, but they don’t do outreach, except through the church that I’m part of, but the sub-churches that we join with them, and I’m still a part of it, and we do their outreach. It’s like they hired us to do their outreach for
them. But the first word in the Great Commission is what? Go. And so many times we as church members try to get people to come to church, try to invite them and get them through the doors and let the church do all the dirty work. And that’s not relationship building. That’s not what Christ did. That’s not accepting and loving people where they are. They might not want to come. They might be very against it. And I love what my pastor says. My, and my friend David, he says, why should people have to go to church to
have a pastor? And so you might be the only quote unquote pastor somebody knows out there. So let that encourage you and cheer you up and perk you up and make you unashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ because everybody else is proud of their gospel. You know what I’m saying? Everybody is so proud of their label these days. So it is a perfect time for you to get over this, this scaries and, and just stand up for what you believe in and take the hard knocks and just don’t act like you’re better than everybody else.
Because when you do, they will look at you and say, oh, you’re a Christian and you shouldn’t do that. Or I saw you speeding or, you know, and it’s like, dude, I never said I was perfect. I’m not a perfect person. I’m not a perfect person. Anyway, it’s a good song. I don’t remember what it’s called. I want you to know I found a reason to live. Anyway, it’s called The reason is you. I don’t know who sings it, but it’s on my radio, my YouTube playlist and it’s great. So yeah, it was a good sermon
today. Going to church, my son came, which is an answer to prayer. I pray for my wife first and then I pray for my kids second. And I, I’m a terrible father because I don’t quite know where they are spiritually. It’s not something that we’ve brought up recently. They, They kind of, we just raised them up in the way they should go. And we just kind of trust God to do what He said He would do. But I pray for them and I pray that they will come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. The Holy
Spirit would draw them to him. And then I said, in the meantime, don’t let them do anything terrible enough to wreck the rest of their life. And Jen says that Jay prayed over a meal the other day that in front of his friends, he didn’t even know the parents could hear. He’s got a track meat thing and he prayed for the food. And she said he did really good. And I was like, wow, okay, cool. That’s, that’s where we left him off at last time, you know, when he was little and we could still pray with
him and stuff. He was still doing that and he claimed to be a Christian, but you know, kids change, stuff changes. You never know. You never know where he’s at. And then you wanted to come to church today. And that’s out of the blue. We don’t, we don’t, we don’t force it. And that’s just the decision that me and my family have made because we’ve never done traditional church and suddenly we are, and that’s me and Jen’s choice. I don’t want him to hate it. I really don’t. I feel like your experience at that age is
just as important, if not more important than the content. And he gets the content. He’s seen examples of people that follow Christ and he’s seen examples of what happens to your life when you don’t because the city for 1 thing, for good or for bad, really delineates between those that are living Christ-like lives and those that aren’t. It really does dictate how well your life is doing. Whereas in white world where everybody lives in the same kind of house, no matter how much money they make or how, you know, good of a person they are, it’s
a lot harder to see morality in people’s eyes. So he’s had a really good education. And my daughter mentioned to my wife the other day that she was praying about something and blah, blah, blah. So I think everything’s going great. I also pray for my wife. I pray that she has great weekends and so far she’s had great weekends. I prayed for her tsunami at work, that it will get better. I’ve gotten better. I’m, let’s see, I was 20% depressed the other day, but then it went down. It went bad. I got bad. And we did
a family fun night at Novation at the Melvin Theatre. And I was really down, really, really down, like wanted to go home. But I had to I had to do this game I had promised to do. And it went well, it went really well. It was, okay, I’ll tell you, we had 2 pumpkins. I cut them super wide open, not tiny hole, a big hole at the top so they could get both hands in because their job was to scoop out as many guts as they could with 2 hands and put them in a bowl and
then switch relay style to the next kit. So there were 2 teams doing this for 60 seconds because all my games, this was way before Minute to when it ever came out. But all my games are how many blanks can you blank in 60 seconds? So how many guts can you get out of a pumpkin in 60 seconds? So so I had to make it interesting and not have to eyeball it. I had a scale from the house, a little, you know, cooking scale. And it measures down to tenths, hundredths of an ounce. And I weighed
both bowls and you know, we had a winner. And you don’t say a winner and a losing team. I, I made the mistake of doing that. I forgot some of my Jedi training. You always say first place in second place with kids. You don’t, you don’t want to, who’s on the losing team. I’ve actually heard myself say that. And I was like, James, are you so far removed from your past that you have forgotten how to speak to children. You know, not that there’s anything wrong with saying loser, but they don’t take it personally. But still,
still, I don’t like hearing myself say it. So I switched over from first from from loser to second place. You know, that was that was hard. It there’s only 1 person that really understands what that feels like and what I go through and that’s Tiffany. Cause Tiffany knows it is so hard to do something like that when you feel like absolute crap. Because she she sent me an invite the other day to come and do something in honor of her son, her son that we lost to gun violence. And I think it’s his birthday. But she
told me, if you’re having a bad day, don’t make yourself come. Because she knows how that feels. And I was like, I appreciate that so freaking much because there is a lot of stress and pressure involved in going to something like that. Because it is a sad thing and it is a depressant to me. Because I was very close to him and I taught him basically how to be a good reader. I invested a lot of time and energy in him and somebody just shot him down in the freaking alley and shot him 5 times and
killed him for no reason whatsoever because he started a rumor, I think. So yeah, yeah. So she understands, but I don’t, I don’t know. I don’t know what to do with myself because the next couple days later, I went with my friend Ryan to 6 Flags and I was on Cloud 9. And I went to 6 Flags because I can fit on roller coasters again. And I wanted to just check that off my bucket list. So we wrote a bunch of roller coasters and we wrote some stuff that, that nobody in their right mind should ride.
There’s this thing you should look it up right now. It’s called the Joker. It’s in St. Louis, Missouri, 6 Flags, St. Louis, Missouri. Look that thing up on the internet. And I wrote that to describe it to you. It’s like an A-frame structure with a big pendulum and it’s a big, big pendulum. And at the bottom of that pendulum is a circle of about 50 seats. And you sit facing outwards, it rotates slightly. And then it pendulums back and forth and it almost goes vertical, almost goes all the way over. And you are 17 stories in
the air. I don’t know how high that is, but it’s very high. And I’ve been that high. And the first half of it is so fun. It is the most fun I’ve ever had on a ride. And the last half is absolute Hades because you go weightless for a good 5 seconds. And then you’re going 75 miles an hour down toward the earth. And those forces, those G forces are pulling on you. And your stomach goes from up in your rib cage to down in your pelvis over and over and over because we were in line,
Ryan and I, and I was like, listen, everybody’s happy and cheering and then look at them when they get off. John, I said, Ryan, even the kids, none of the kids are even smiling. What are we about to do? But we did it and I was like, I will throw up. I’m not gonna throw up right now, but I can tell I’m gonna throw up. But I did it, I made it. But we were done after that 1. We rode Batman. We rode the ninja. We rode some, the boss, which is like a wooden roller coaster
that jerks that tries to take your head off your neck. And then we rode that, something called the pandemonium or panda something or other. It was just a spinning roller coaster, which was really cool. And then we went on the Joker and there’s 1 more called Catwoman. So while you’re looking up the Joker, look up Catwoman. We didn’t make it on that 1, but that 1 looks like it was made by Satan himself. And so since we got there was a deal on season passes. We both have season passes. So we do plan on doing it
again sometime. So I’m excited about that. I’m also excited because I’m going to go see Fire of Iron Frenzy in November. That’s going to be a lot of fun. I have invited my brother-in-law Anthony to come with me and he is going to fly out to Chicago from North or South Carolina, wherever he has my sister living. And we’re going to go see 5 Iron Frenzy. And I love this band. I’ve always loved this band. Actually saw this band once. Didn’t even know it. Didn’t know them. Didn’t stop to care. Oh, but I’m going to have
my dream come true and it’ll be wonderful. They say never meet your heroes, but hopefully it’ll be a good experience and a small club. That’s what I’m hoping for. But it’ll be good to hang out with Anthony because I knew Anthony way before he was my brother-in-law. I knew him way back in our Skypunk days and when we were wearing Jinko jeans and bleached in our hair blonde. So It’s very cool. I’m growing out my beard because I have a turkey neck and it is a little embarrassing for me. I, I’m not vain, but I feel
like I can cover it up with a beard. So I think I’m going to, so that means it’s got to grow out a few inches. And then I got to go to a barber and get it trimmed up. So I am I I don’t do much. That’s masculine. You know, I’m not really strong. I don’t talk tough. I don’t drive a big truck. I am intimidated by stronger men who do better jobs than me, you know, but I can grow facial hair like very few men can. And it is all connected. So it’s not even weird
hair. It is like bare hair. And I’m very proud of that. So I look forward to being a bearded man. And if you follow me on Instagram or on Facebook, you will see updates, not just of my beard. It’ll just be updates in general and you’ll happen to see my beard as it grows. So don’t go out and buy a URL and dedicate it to the growth of my beard or anything like that. I’m not, like I said, I’m not vain. I don’t need that kind of attention. But if you’re interested in just casually checking in
once in a while, you can friend me on Facebook. I’m still friendable. I have not hit my limit of friends. So that’s fine with me. I think I’m going to end it here. I think I’ve updated everything that I wanted to update. I ordered some shirts and polos online because Everything I have is too big. I wear a XL in t-shirts now and a large in button-up shirts. No, no, something’s mixed up there. Yeah, I think it’s XL in t-shirts and, oh Man, that means I need to change some I need to cancel some orders. I
got it backwards. Oh I’m in Excel and 1 and large in the other and I think I need to do some, some stuff before I go to bed. So thank you guys for listening. Sorry, it’s so short. I don’t know. Maybe you got something, maybe you didn’t. I appreciate each of you. I always like to end with something positive. And this week I kind of said it to my son because he didn’t do very, or he didn’t do very well compared to what he wanted to do. I think he did great just showing up across country.
He did not PR, which is personal record. He did not even come close and he was off by himself weeping. I mean, just having a terrible time turning that inward. And I was like, Jen, I got to talk to him. And I said, it’s okay to feel all that. You can’t change how you feel. I said, but you’ve got to not let it rip your guts out. And he’s like, but I don’t know how to stop feeling that way. I’m like, don’t stop feeling that way. I said, you think I can stop feeling depressed? Do you
think I can have any control over it? No, I, I feel it and I experienced it. I said, I just choose not to believe it. And it still sucks and it still hurts, but It doesn’t grind me up like it used to. So feelings are not facts. And at some point you just have to say, look, it’s not whether I win or lose in this life. It’s how I finish. And I said that to him and I say it to us that are struggling with depression. It’s not whether you win at life or lose at life.
You know, if you’re struggling and suffering, it’s just a season. It’s not forever. That’s the lie that depression tells you it’s forever. It is forever. And I think it’s the lie it tells you when everything’s great. That, hey, this is gonna be forever too, by the way. And then it’s not, and it’s like, ah, you know. But feel it. You can’t stop the feelings, but You cannot believe the feelings. You can know, you know, I will be smiling eventually again. I will see a movie I like again. There will be times that are better than this.
I just have to get through this. And I told him, I’m like, you get it from me and I know what it feels like. You want to beat the crap out of yourself, but you can’t do that because this is just a sport. It’s just exercise and you’ve got real stuff coming. You got jobs and you’ve got decisions to make and you’ve got people that you’re going to marry and you got all this kind of stuff coming up and you can’t Let these things this anxiety just tear you to pieces. So Anyway, if you can take
anything from that, please do Thank you so much to our supporting listeners on Patreon. A special thanks to Kerry Wright and Kerry Bernhardt. Join the community. Become a supporting listener today at patreon.com slash gok. It’s a huge support to me personally and I love it. I love it when you send me small amounts of money every month, it is great. For a long time, it was the only source of income that I had coming in and it was fantastic. And it still is. It’s not the only source of income I have, but it is, it’s still
a huge blessing. And it’s money that I set aside to do good things for the show and to do good things for others. And if you ever want to talk about that kind of stuff, email me, James at NL cast.com. If you have questions, if you have comments, if you have input for the show, if you have anything you’d like to hear me discuss topics, Jesus stuff, life stuff, depression stuff, James at NL cast.com for everything else, visit G okay. Cast.com. Cause it’s still G okay. We all know it, even though we’re just outliving depression we’ll
see you guys next time bye
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