215: Adventures in Westville

John takes his Ranger group to a Old West town that seems to reinforce Native American stereotypes.

This week’s funny stories: John got a Happy Memorial Day from Walmart, James’ family went to Animal Kingdom Lodge and got cable, John got all of the LEGO Simpsons minifigs, takes a group of Royal Rangers to Westville and goes on a rant about a guy on Kindergarten Grad Night. James meets a crazy Portal Kid, is reminded to pick up his medication by Marry Poppins, finds that Disney drinks, and wishes expire at 7:04 pm and that his kids want their dog to be a bit more portable. Then Chris Cowan calls in about a lady with a pointy butt. Kaylee’s sister slaps a lady’s butt with her purse, Lorien makes up a story about a kid falling off his bike, and Keith’s wife doesn’t find everything we say to be very funny. We share some Middle School Drama from Zeke who doesn’t want his sister in her club, Gavin who was not in fact teaching bad words to the deaf kid, and Ian tries to wear his gum as a necklace.

Links Mentioned:

  • Made My Day Podcast is back. Check out EP 15 – Hidden Mickeys
  • Support Made My Day on Patreon.
  • 28 patrons for NLCast!
  • Sponsor a single show for $5 or $10. Have a message read, make a dedication or wish someone happy birthday!
  • John other fans in the live chat as we record Nobody’s Listening every Tuesday (or Thursday) at 9:30pm EST.

[sub-con]

Transcript Of First 30 Minutes

James: So, explain the poopball to everybody. What’s the deal?

John: I changed my picture on Facebook. It’s not a poopball. [laughter] What am I doing? I’m cooking a grenade.

James: Exactly.

John: It was actually the mud in Alaska was really interesting, and I really hope that it was mud. I grabbed it off of a riverbank so there’s no telling what was in the mud. But it made this perfect ball and it was shiny and stuff and I was going to throw it at somebody and they were taking a picture.

James: Yeah I saw them do that on…

John: “MythBusters”?

James: “MythBusters,” and they did use poop.

John: They did.

James: Because they were trying to find out if you could shine poop or poop can’t…

John: That’s right. It was one of those ones.

James: That’s why I see it and I think, “It’s a poopball.”

John: “Can you polish a turd?” Or something like that.

James: Yeah, yeah. [laughter] They proved that wrong. You can.

John: You can in fact.

James: This show proves it every single week in my opinion. [laughter] How was your Memorial Day, my friend?

John: Mine?

James: Yeah.

John: Very non-eventful.

James: Aw. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

John: It’s a good thing because I spent the whole week prior just nonstop doing stuff for the school and all the stuff that I do at work.

James: All the closing-out-at-the-end-of-the-year stuff.

John: Yes, so Memorial Day was good. How was yours?

James: Ours was good. We went to Animal Kingdom Lodge in Orlando.

John: Oh, that sounds like fun.

James: Yeah. This is the second year we’ve done it. We did it last year and things were pretty rough last year. But this year was a lot better and it was fun. It was just as fun as it was last year. Now that we’ve done it twice it is officially like a family tradition now.

John: So, every Memorial Day you’re going to…?

James: We’re going to Animal Kingdom Lodge on our Florida discount spending one night eating in the cheapest restaurant and then staying way past our welcome.

John: Past check-in. [laughter]

James: Oh yeah. Well, we check-out.

John: You check-out.

James: We leave our bags with the bellhop there and then we just do stuff.

John: Oh, that sounds like fun.

James: It was great, man. We went to Downtown Disney and we went to the Lego Store. You know that Lego Store.

John: Yes. Yes.

James: Looked around with about five million other people. It was good. It was good. Man, I went to the World of Disney Store and found a Buzz Lightyear hoodie.

John: Oh yeah?

James: It has the chest-plate, the whole thing man, the backpack on the back. The hoodie part was purple. I’d been looking for this thing in XX for like years.

John: Yeah?

James: It was $60. I would probably have gotten it and worn it like every day until I died but my wife, she’s not often like, “No way Jose,” but she put her foot down about this.

John: Why? Really?

James: Even my kids were like, “Oh my gosh, you’ve been looking for this forever.” So I had to be content with a photo of it.

John: Oh no.

James: I put it on and I did the Buzz pose and that’s it. That’s all we got. So, it’s kind of a sad show today, because we’re going to be…

John: The hoodie that you never got.

James: This is in honor of the hoodie that I never got.

John: Mm.

James: I saw it and my whole life had meaning and stuff and now, I don’t have a hoodie.

John: You didn’t happen to mention that to your wife?

James: No. That it was my dream?

John: That it was your purpose and your dream.

James: Yeah, she knew. She knew but she said, she later told me, she says, “How did you feel when you were having your picture taken?” I said, “I felt awesome. I felt amazing. I felt like Buzz Lightyear.” She said…

John: Look at the picture? [laughter]

James: She said, “You didn’t even feel a little bit stupid? Because you looked a lot stupid.”

John: Oh my gosh, are you serious? [laughter]

James: She’s not usually that vocal. She really, really hated it. I think if I had bought it I would have lost her. [laughter] Maybe not as a spouse, but you know those couples, they’re married, they’re sitting at a restaurant, they’re not speaking to each other, they’re just kind of eating and looking around? That would be us forever because I’d be in my Buzz Lightyear hoodie [laughter] and she would be trying to act like we just happened to sit at the same table.

John: “This guy is a stranger. He just sat down next to me with his Buzz Lightyear hoodie.”

James: So if any of you out there really, really want to P-word off my wife, buy me that thing and ship it to me. [laughter] But seriously, $60 no freaking way. I couldn’t. I would have but I couldn’t. I would have argued with myself and probably still wouldn’t have gotten it. Oh my gosh, though. It was like a dream.

John: They still make it, so you never know.

James: Yeah.

John: Father’s Day is around the corner. Maybe she could swallow her pride.

James: No. You don’t know man.

John: Probably not.

James: She was serious. She was stern. I’m trying to think of another time that she was like this and I think it was like, “No, you can’t throw away the baby.” [laughter] It was pretty serious then too. I won’t tell you which one. I wouldn’t tell you.

John: OK, that’s good.

James: But the diaper was really bad.

John: [laughter] You can’t throw the baby out with the diaper pail.

James: Yeah, that’s a much better whatever, saying than the bathwater. I’ve never been tempted, because the baby’s bathwater has just got a few bubbles in it and all that kind of stuff.

John: Yeah.

James: But you can’t throw the baby out with the poopy-diaper makes a heck of a lot more sense in today’s world.

John: I concur.

James: Because back then you didn’t throw out poopy diapers. You freaking washed them and used them again.

John: Some people still do.

James: Not me, bro.

John: No.

James: I would be using people’s bonnets and aprons and all kinds of stuff from back then, “I don’t care about no landfills.” I mean the Amish would be losing all their whites. I’d be wrapping my baby in bonnets and stuff. So, my Memorial Day was amazing.

John: Good.

James: The best part being that we did a Hidden Mickeys scavenger hunt.

John: Oh really? Is this like a sanctioned thing by…?

James: Yeah, it actually was. I was kind of chill and my wife was kind of…It was raining. We were going to go to Downtown Disney. That was rained out. So we were in the room. I was fine doing some stuff on the computer just chilling. She was itchy. So, she was like, “Come on kids, we’re just going to walk around.” I realized, “Man, that is just so pitiful. That is so sad, she had to just walk around.” [laughter] So I’m like, “Hold on.” I got on the Internet and I’m like, “Somebody, some nerd somewhere has built a scavenger hunt for this hotel or this resort.”

John: Oh yeah, like a geocacher dude or something.

James: It has to exist. Well I found a couple but they were outdated, and this that or the other, and they were really weird and dumb, and then somehow randomly I found this thing that said, “If you go to the front desk and ask them they will give you a sheet of an official 15-point Hidden Mickey with clues thing.”

John: No way.

James: I read the paper. We went and got it and it said, “If you do them all, you find them all, you take it to the gift shop and they will give you a certificate of completion.”

John: Shut up.

James: How cool is that? This is a far cry from back in the day when we were wondering if Hidden Mickeys were official or not, you know? Now, you know. Well, anyway, we hunted and we found all but two of them in the pitch-black dark between eight-thirty and ten o’clock. It was fun for all of us. I don’t even know why I had fun. But we really had to look hard. [laughter] It was not easy and…

John: Looking in people’s windows?

James: Yeah.

John: [laughter] That’s not Mickey.

James: That’s not Mickey, that’s a fat guy with two dudes on his stomach. [laughter]

John: It’s a face that’s weird.

James: But… [laughter]Yeah, “This guy’s eyes, look his ears have eyes.”

John: Stay hidden Mickey. Stay hidden Mickey.

James: [laughter] Amen. But it was so cool when you finally found it, because sometimes it would be staring you in the face and then when you saw it you couldn’t un-see it. But before that it was just nowhere to be found. We found all of them but two and two of them only because you literally couldn’t see them in the dark. One of them was in the Flamingo Pen that is next to the pool if that tells you anything about how posh this place is. It’s got animals everywhere, it’s awesome.

John: It’s got flamingos near the pool.

James: Yes, yes, flamingos, flamingos. We call them mingos actually in our family because my kids when they were little they watched a little Noah’s ark Baby Einstein video and for some reason the lady, when they were going through all the animals one by one and spending five hours on each animal she would say, “Mingo.” I was like, “That sounds like a teddy bear, like a koala’s cousin or something.” But she would say, “Mingo.” I don’t know if the F was silent for her or what. [laughter] So every time I hear flamingo I want to say, “Mingo.”

John: Mingo.

James: It’s a mingo.

John: Maybe the flamingo’s name was Mingo.

James: It’s a mingo, a mingo. But anyway we found that, and then we got another one and we have to, there are actually African people at work at the themed place. They’re from South Africa, North Africa and all these different places.

John: Sure.

James: And they’re awesome and eager to help, and this one guy, poor thing, he literally climbed up this 3 or 4 story deal and shined a pen light on one part of this area to try to help us see this one Mickey.

John: No way.

James: I was like you’re too nice, you know? You’re so nice.

John: I’m not going to tip you.

James: You’re so nice I’m mad at you, you know? Like I feel like I’m using you. So that was really sad, but no we got it, it was awesome. And the only bad part is when we went to go turn in the paper. They’re like, “Oh we are out of,” this little lady she was like, “Oh we, the lady that does this is gone and so what I’m going to do is I’m going to give you two pens off my little pen trading thing,” because they do this pen trading. So we got the equivalent of 20 bucks worth of pens.

John: Are you serious?

James: My kids each picked one, yeah those things are 10 bucks a piece minimum.

John: That’s awesome man, was that Norwega lady that she had news for you?

James: I don’t know, but it reclaimed, I mean it kind of redeemed that don’t you think?

John: I would say yes.

James: I did go back later and ask what the deal was and could we please have it now, is the lady here now? And they said flat out we don’t have any certificates.

John: Oh.

James. And so I didn’t feel so bad about taking her pens then since she lied to me.

John: You should have told her to give you another pen.

James: That’s right. Circle of life. So man, what’s been going on with your week?

John: My week.

James: Give us some weekly updates.

John: Well I’ll do one because you were talking about Memorial Day and I went, of all places, I don’t know why, but I had to go to Walmart. And I’m not a big fan or Walmart, I mean it serves its purpose, but there’s just too much weird stuff there for me to not really want to spend a lot of time there.

James: What’s weird? You talking about the products or the people shopping for them?

John: Yes mostly the people.

James: Yeah, okay.

John: And you know products are products, but there’s just in my part of the woods I suppose, depending on the time of day you can get some pretty interesting people which is probably true for all Walmarts, but anyway, I had my stuff and I was checking out and the lady was really nice and she wished me a happy Memorial Day and I said well thank you I hope you have a good one too.

James: I don’t celebrate Memorial Day, I don’t believe in Memorial Day. Let’s keep the memorial in the day. Wouldn’t it be funny if it applied, but anyway go ahead sorry.

John: Like keep the day in memorial.

James: Yeah, if we apply the whole Christmas thing to every other holiday, let’s keep the groundhog in day okay.

John: Take the hog out of the groundhog day.

James: That’s right. It’s about groundhogs. I don’t care how you celebrate it, it is the reason for the season.

John: That’s right.

James: Anyway go ahead.

John: Well, it wasn’t like that, but it was close. She did wish me happy Memorial Day and I said well thank you, you have a good one too and all that, and she said no DUI’s, don’t get any DUI’s on Memorial Day. I’m like what? Is that a thing? Get DUI’s on Memorial Day?

James: Yeah. The day before, the day after, fine. But not the day.

John: Yeah, just too expensive that was her thing.

James: Lady at Walmart, sponsor of the DUI campaign of America. Well I got that beat. There’s a lady, she even listens to this show so she’s going to hate me.

John: Oh no.

James: Understand you put it on Facebook so it’s probably like, there was this graphic and I know her heart, she’s the nicest girl I’ve ever met. Like she is like the girl version of you okay.

John: Really?

James: Yes. Except she has all her hair and a baby. And she put on her profile, on her thing, it said, it said this. It just said Memorial Day at the top of the graphic, and then on the graphic it had this lady hugging her one year old baby in front of a tombstone of a soldier. It’s obviously a soldier’s tombstone and she’s just weeping and it says at the bottom, ‘In case you thought it was all about friends and family and barbeques.’ And I was like oh man I got duked. You know what a duke is right? Where you go one way and then oh you go the other way, it’s a basketball term.

John: Yeah, yeah.

James: Yeah, where you think something’s going to be fun, happy and meaningful and then it goes duke and goes the other way. That’s the way that was, I was like I wanted to write something like, ‘Hi, I hope all of you enjoy your Memorial Day, and while you’re enjoying your Memorial Day please remember the reason for Memorial Day, and the people that have sacrificed their lives so that you can enjoy your barbeque at the beach.’

John: And get a DUI.

James: Doesn’t that sound a lot nicer than, ‘Here’s a lady that’s crying because of you. Eat your hotdog and think about that baby,’ you know?

John: Dad’s not coming back.

James: I’m not taking anything away from Memorial Day.

John: I kind of feel bad now.

James: Yeah, I mean my dad died and I’ve got friends, I’ve got friends that have died in action. It’s terrible, it’s a horrible thing. But I don’t think the people that lost people want other people to like go about their lives, the lives that the people saved, our freedoms that they fought for, I don’t think they wanted us to feel bad about having them. Now that we have died you can no longer enjoy, you have freedoms, but you’re not allowed to enjoy them. You can live in America, but you have to have guilt, okay. So I don’t think that’s the deal. So anyway.

John: I draw the line when they start putting out the products at Easter time from Memorial day. It’s just too early.

James: That is ridiculous it’s like we’re celebrating, well not celebrating, but we’re honoring people that have died and now you want us to honor the guy that lived again, already? It’s too soon. It’s too soon. You got to keep Jesus in the tomb. You know what I’m saying? You got to keep the Jesus in the tomb.

John: That’s right. I’m not sure that could probably get some eyebrows raised.

James: This thing is about Leprechauns, it is about four leaf clovers and it’s about the color green.

James: Yes.

James: This is America.

John: Come on.

James: Don’t you take the green out of my holiday.

John: I got nothing. Nothing I’m sorry.

James: Alright. We got cable this week.

John: Congratulations.

James: I know, it’s weird. It is weird.

John: I wish I was your neighbor.

James: We haven’t had it for a long time, and we only got it because I want to do a couple Podcasts that have to do with needing cable.

John: Yeah.

James: And my kids absolutely do not understand cable at all. They have been raised 100% on Netflix Kids, and shows like that. They’ve never ever had a program schedule experience. And it was funny, our DVR, we do have a DVR, so now they can kind of, you know it’s kind of still even though it’s just kind of half way like they’re used to. Because Jay still flops down on the couch and after he hears about a cool show and he’s like oh I’m going to watch it. I’m like dude it’s not on and that just blows his 6 year old mind. He’s like I can’t, I don’t even know what that means. Why isn’t it on? Everything’s on. Everything’s on. Everything I ever wanted to watch, is on. But the first day the DVR didn’t work and so we’re watching some, flipping through channels and programming the favorites so they can get back and forth to the ones they’re supposed to be on. And they’re like oh, oh we want to watch this, it’s Dog With A Blog on something like Disney channel. A demonic dog that can talk to people you know? It’s the agenda. It’s Disney’s agenda. But they’re watching this and Jay goes can we watch it from the beginning? Can we rewind it? Can you hit the button just once? I’m like no and then later on they’re like oh commercials, what in the world is going on? Why are we watching commercials? They’d had a little bit of experience with commercials watching Hulu with me, but yeah they’re freaking out about commercials. And they’re like can we pause it I got to go the bathroom. I’m like commercials are pause. That is all we had when we were kids. If your mom told you to do something, you waited until the commercial. Or you begged to, and then you did it as quick as humanly possible to get back before the show was over.

John: Get your dessert or get your popcorn, you better hurry.

James: She’s trying to explain it to my son, my daughter, and she’s trying to tell him it’s just like Netflix, they just show one show at a time every week, instead of all at one time.

John: That is so crazy.

James: And this sounds so dumb to him. And it does. I tell you it sounds horribly inefficient, and I perceive and I predict that one day they’ll finally just give up on the whole network, this is when we show stuff, and they’ll just make everything available to everyone all the time. I think that’s where it’s headed but it’s hilarious. Commercials are pause, that’s what they are.

John: Yes, and they’re dumb too.

James: They are dumb.

John: And if you watch them you’re an idiot.

James: But I’m going to tell you, I’m going tell you this, that they are more better than Hulu ads because at least you get some variety.

John: [laughter] Yes.

James: If you make ads, if you’re the ad-maker for Hulu, [recorded voice] “You’re an idiot.”

John: [laughter] Yes.

James: There you go. Just for you ad-makers. What else man, what’s been going on?

John: Speaking of idiots then, if I can segue into this?

James: Yeah, seg.

John: Because I’ve got a little bit of a rant. May I share?

James: Yeah, man.

John: OK.

James: I like it when you rant because you’re just so angry.

John: [laughter] Really?

James: Oh, it goes from PG into PG-6.

John: This guy’s a butthole. [laughter]

James: If you’re not six you can’t listen to John.

John: Sorry.

James: Go ahead, man.

John: I’m bringing back the LBB, the living, breathing, butthead.

James: Yeah.

John: I was in charge, not in charge, I was responsible for making sure that certain aspects of a kindergarten graduation went off without flaw. In other words I was running sound and doing lights and running a camera at this particular moment.

There’s this guy, and granted, it’s a large class of kindergarteners, there’s probably like 50 of them or something, I don’t know, and they do their thing, they’re singing up on the stage and all that stuff. But there’s a dad in the audience and he doesn’t want to pay attention to anything else except for his kid.

That’s fine, I can understand that. But he…I was sitting in the back of the room running a camera. This guy kept getting up from his seat, walking to the back of the room. Everything’s being held in a gym, so they’ve got these bleachers, and he’ll go kind of stomping up the bleachers making a bunch of noise and then sit in the back of the bleachers because there’s, I don’t know, a better cell signal or something, and he’s working on his laptop.

He was right next to me and I just wanted to say, “Man, you’re just kind of messing things up with this camera.” Because every time he would walk on the bleachers the camera would shake and I’m like, “Ooh, stop it.” So, dude at kindergarten grad night because of your constant walking and not paying attention to anything but your own child, you are an LBB.

James: You’re an idiot.

John: Yeah, thank you.

James: Dude, you can’t unplug for five seconds to see your kid graduate from kindergarten? Come on.

John: It wasn’t like it was a big commencement ceremony either. It was just…Pulling out a laptop. Walking back down to where his seat is in the main area, pulls out a laptop, starts working on it [keystroke noises]…

James: “Got to get this done.”

John: Man, it was too crazy.

James: Got to get this done. Got to get that.”

John: So, boom, boom, boom.

James: Ugh. I was walking into Chick-fil-A the other day. Not Chick-fil-A, Cracker Barrel, because it matters.

John: Oh yes.

James: I was walking into Cracker Barrel and this kid comes stumbling, I mean mess of a kid, he’s this little boy, he’s got a crazy shock of hair, his clothes are on but they’re all just tucked in his pockets and weird, one tongue of his shoes hanging out. He just looks a mess like somebody tried to dress him while he was doing flips or something, which he probably was.

He comes just stumbling out obviously ahead of the grandparents that are raising him or whatever and he looks at my shirt. I’ve got my Portal Parody shirt where the little guy is hula-hooping with both of the Portals. You know?

John: Yes.

James: He stares at it and his mouth hits the ground and his jaw drops and he goes, “Oh, that’s a Portal!” I’m like, “Yeah, yeah it is. It’s Portal.” He’s, “I know that game!” [laughter] I’m like, “Good.” I’m trying to walk past him and get in this thing and I said, “Yeah, it’s a good game.” There’s this good pause, I think it’s over and as the door just about closes he goes, “It’s a mind game.”

John: [laughter] It’s a mind game.

James: It’s like, “Please seat us now.”

John: This is for science.

James: I almost went to the back to get the Talking Toucan and ask him to say it again so that it would repeat it over and over and over.

John: “It’s a mind game. It’s a mind game.”

James: “It’s a mind game.” Maybe for you. It’s a puzzle for the rest of us but…Portal Kid.

John: Portal Kid. Portal Kid.

James: Yeah, it was scary. What else you got, homie?

John: I’ve got Lego Simpsons.

James: I didn’t know if you’d do that or not. But I saw that it was a house and I was like, “John is going to be tempted.”

John: Oh, I’m still tempted for the house. I don’t know if you know this or not yet, but the latest series of mini-figures is the Lego…

James: Simpsons.

John: …Simpsons. Yes.

James: They’ve got them at Target and the Lego Store there, yeah.

John: Yes. I like to collect various mini-figures just because they’re cool to me and I like them. When you get those bags there’s no way to tell who’s in them or what. So, the true Lego enthusiasts they have to feel the bag to tell, “OK, well this guy has this certain piece, so I know that it must be this guy.” The Lego Simpsons are a lot easier to tell because their heads…

James: Especially, Marge.

John: Oh, yeah, yeah, exactly. So I never have collected an entire set or series. But I’m happy to say, “I am the proud owner of the entire Lego mini-figure Simpsons series.”

James: Awesome. Awesome.

John: I’m very excited about that.

James: By the next show I will be. I’m going to drive right up there and steal them from your house.

John: [laughter] You don’t know where they’re at, I’m hiding them.

James: You don’t know how paranoid I was. I was blogging and kind of posting about my vacation, my little mini-vaca, and I was thinking about the last time I did it and how I told everybody, “When you tell me you’re on vacation I know your house is empty and I should break into your house.”

I was really paranoid that that was going to happen. Like some rabid fan was going to drive down here and break into my house. But nobody did. So, I just wanted to publicly say, “Thank you everyone. Thank you to each and every one of you who didn’t break into my house for not breaking into my house.”

I just thought about it. I don’t know that they didn’t break into my house. Maybe, they did and they licked my pillows and they smelled my shoes. [laughter] But they didn’t steal anything and they left the place as they found it. So, thank you on both counts if you didn’t break in or if you did and didn’t steal anything, I’m happy. But my pillow does smell weird, so…

John: Hmm.

James: It smells like tonsils.

John: How about your toothbrush?

James: Oh.

John: You probably took that with you.

James: Yes I did. But Jen didn’t. Speaking of which, that is a good update.

John: Yeah?

James: We’re at Disney and we buy a drink, a soda, and there’s these new machines, drink machines, the technology will blow your mind. It’s a little screen. It looks just like a regular soda machine, like in any other self-serve place, but it has a screen that says, “Put your cup on the black X.” Down at the bottom underneath every single dispenser is this little tray and you put your cup on there and it will not work until you put your cup on there. Because there is a…

John: Really?

James: …tiny RFB Stamp sticker on the bottom of each cup that is tracked by a database. Because apparently people were robbing Disney blind. I mean it had to have been a huge loss for them to invest in this type of technology site-wide.

John: Yeah.

James: And “site” is a small word for a pretty big place. You put your cup on there and you push the button and the freaking thing tells you, “You have three more refills until 7:04,” which is like an hour-and-a-half from the first fill-up.

John: What?

James: Yeah. There is not unlimited refills at Disney World anymore. Well, the deal is that they sell these mugs that are worth 13 to 15 bucks and they want you to buy those and then that’s unlimited for the length of your stay.

John: Right.

James: But people will try to work the Disney angle and they’re trying to get everything they can…

John: Yeah.

James: …for free. So the cups.

John: Yeah, that’s me.

James: So we did get it. I’m never that kind of guy. I throw my cup in the trash, I’m done, you know? But because it told me and limited me I kept my cups and I hung out by the pool. When I was done I would go in and I would get my second refill. Then I got my third refill and it told me, “You have 45 minutes for your final refill.” So, that one I let go. [laughter] That one I let go. Until 7:04, though, I had soda. I had soda…

John: 7:04.

James: …as I wanted it. Both my kids got drinks, so I kept their cups and I bled it dry as much as I could.

John: That is awesome.

James: So, yeah, if you go to Disney World, they’re tracking your drinking. I’m just telling you. Your cup has a thing. What reminded me is that Jen lost her toothbrush, or did not bring her toothbrush. She did not bring it. I said, “We’re at a premium resort, for the love…Call down there and ask them if they have a complimentary toothbrush.

John: Yeah.

James: So, I’m doing something, I come back and she’s like, “Oh, they brought my toothbrush, and look they brought, it’s like the tiniest little tube of toothpaste,” and it was. It was like as big around as a straw.