This week Mike has something tickle his neck in the dark. TJ tells us about his touretts ticks. And Jayme puts an entire restaurant on high alert!
https://www.patreon.com/posts/449-stuff-that-89295220
James Kennison [00:00:00]:
This is that Story show where hilarious real life stories take the spotlight. This week, Mike has something tickle the side of his neck in the dark TJ tells us about his tourette’s text, and Jamie puts an entire restaurant on high alert. Now you’re ready for that story show. Hey, this is that story. Show people. Arthur hey. He was cooking pizza. I turned into a bat. I flew into his tweet. I left her some guan. Hey, podcast people. Welcome back to that Story Show episode 449, brought to you the week of September 14, 2023. I am your host. My name is James Kennison, and my good friend is here I am I am here. James. It’s me, John. Hi. And I want to tell you something, James, and this is a serious concern for me. I work in a building that has a couple elevators, and I like to take them when I can. Yeah. Because I’m not real sure about the stairs, because they’re always up to something. I don’t know if I should take them or not. I’m sure they’d be down for whatever you wanted to do. Yeah. Just take it step by step. One step at a time, bro. One step at a time. I can do that. Thank you. Baby steps. Baby, baby, baby. Jojo had some nice things to say about you last week. Did you hear? Yes. Well, I did, and it was really strange story. So I was ready to do the show last week, and I was all ready, and the power went out. Oh, and I thought I heard somebody outside the door kind of cackling at me. Yeah. I couldn’t get anything working. And then when I came back, the show had already been posted. Yeah. And so I gave it a listen. I mean, he was very nice, but I feel like he had something to do with me not being able to get I wouldn’t put it past him. Jojo is I mean, he comes off all spiritual, and he’s got it all together, but inside, I think he has the soul of a false prophet. He’s got a malicious spirit about him. Yeah. I mean, he’s like a whitewashed tomb. On the outside is grease paint, but in the inside is dead men’s bones. Dead man’s bones. We always start with an opening story. This is called Terrible Tickle, and it is bad. Mike alex. Alex from Watersville, Maine. He says, during my late teens and early twenties, I worked as a camp counselor at a Christian teen camp in my hometown of Connecticut. One summer night, as everyone lay in peaceful slumber, a strange sensation on my neck jolted me awake. My reflexive response was to reach for my neck to investigate and brush away whatever was causing the tickle. I got the heebie jeebies already, but I don’t even know where this story is going. But I just it gets worse. Crawling on it gets worse. Oh, great. But as my fingers touched the irritated spot, I felt something latch onto them. Hammock surge through me and I flung my hand away from my neck, sending the mysterious tickler hurling across the pitch black cabin. I heard it collide with the wall with a thud, followed by the unmistakable sound of it scurrying across the floor and even bumping into the wall. Oh, my goodness. That thing was on your neck while you’re sleeping. Terrified, I refused to set my bare feet on the dark ground. Instead, I awkwardly reached for the end of my bunk, stretching to turn on the light. I hoped my actions wouldn’t rouse the slumbering teen boys or give the unseen tickler a clear view of me as unseen tickler.
John Steinklauber [00:03:55]:
Gucci goo.
James Kennison [00:03:56]:
As the light flickered on, I cautiously crawled to the end of my bunk, trying to get a better look at the elusive intruder. Finally, at a safe distance from the featured, I saw it. A massive cockroach, at least two and a half to three inches long, the very thing that had been tickling my neck and clinging to my fingers. Without hesitation, I descended from my bunk and slapped that tickler back to the origins of the fall from which it came. Yes, it made a satisfying but also terrifying crunch as it took two solid slaps to end its horrible existence. Yeah, those jokers are armored. He had to hit it twice. Yeah, you could step on them and they still walk. They’ll pick you up and move you, as if it wasn’t unsettling enough. Apparently cockroaches will eat your eyelashes as well. So happy sleeping. Are you serious? They’ll eat your eyelashes? I grew up in a white trash environment. We had plenty of night tickles. I’ve never woke up with them on my eyes. I think that’s just a little joke there. Yeah. I remember waking up one morning, well in the middle of the night when I was in Florida. Growing up, I felt something crawl across my chest because I used to sleep on the floor all the time in our house because we didn’t have air conditioning and there was a fan and it would kept its cooler and stuff and I would sleep in front of it when I could. Some crawled across my chest and I woke up and I was looking around and then the cat, because we had stupid cats of cats, came like, trouncing across my chest looking for whatever crawled across. I’m pretty sure it was a roach. I’m just going to believe that it was a roach. I don’t think it was bigger than a roach. But yeah, we had think about it till now, it could have been a mouse. We were being babysat by these two old folks that lived across the street from us. My parents were so desperate to go out, they’d leave us with anybody. They were sitting on a couch across from the piano. Well, me and Leanne wanted to show off our piano skills. So we opened the book over the piano, and this freaking cockroach that had been up there flies all the way to the length of the thing straight for them, and between their heads, they both moved aside. It was like if there had been an umpire, he would have been like, Field goal good. I don’t even know that I knew to be embarrassed. I’m like I just imagine that everybody had nasty cockroaches living in their house. We do. Yeah. If you live in the south at all, you’ve got roaches. It doesn’t matter how clean you are. There’s roaches. They’re there. Yeah. And what do they say? If you see one, there’s a million. You don’t see no, they don’t say that. Nobody says that ever. That’s an urban legend. Yeah, that’s what that is. Yeah, it’s a suburban legend. All right, let’s do some news. Nuggets, China authorities arrest Tu for smashing a shortcut through the Great Wall with an excavator. Did you see this? No. What? Yes. Two individuals, Zhang and Wang, were arrested for creating a shortcut through China’s Great Wall, a United Nations protected heritage site. Wow. This occurred in a remote, deteriorated section far from the well known restored areas in Yangao County, west of Beijing. The pair wanted a shorter route for some construction work they were doing in nearby towns, and they destroyed. So who made it through the Great Wall of China? Kangas Khan and Zine and Wang. Wang? Yeah. They had a little help, of course, but wow. Could you imagine? I mean good night. How old is that thing? It’s like thousands, thousands of years old. And I was actually reading something the other day because the article popped up, and it was talking about how a lot of the bricks and stuff have been stolen. And they’ve had I mean, it’s an enormous it’s huge. And a large percentage of it’s really actually in disrepair. Right. But they’re talking about how the unique mortar and stuff is actually made of rice and stuff like that, but apparently it’s really strong. But not strong enough to stand up to an excavator. No. From Zing and Wang. Yeah, it was a couple it was a man and a woman that were doing work, and they didn’t want to go around the wall. So what do you go it’s like prepositions. You go through it. You can’t go around it and can’t go over it. What do you do? Police stop. Nebraska man not a Florida man for bucking the law with a bull riding shotgun in his car. If you could have only seen the picture. A car driving with a bull in it was pulled over by police in northeast Nebraska’s biggest city. Don’t worry, he didn’t steer. The car that Lee Mayer was driving had been in parades across the area for years, and it has half the windshield and the roof removed to make room for this giant bull named Howdy Duty to ride along. A yellow metal cattle gate serves as a passenger side door, allowing for the Watusi bull named Howdy Duty to be tied up. And, yeah, it’s like a sidecar on a car. It’s crazy. His wife Rhonda, said. That Howdy Duty has been Meyer’s friend and buddy ever since he got him eight or nine years ago. But the amount of money that he spent on this whole darn project, between the car and the bull, I could have had a new kitchen, Rhonda Meyer said in A, Nebraska in an accident. Riemann said that there were clearly some traffic violations related to Meyer’s car, but the officer let him go with a warning as long as he turned around and took Howdy Duty home. I love this story because I think it’s my real father. I think this man is my real dad. Most of you guys will remember that my mom bought a cow, a baby cow, and she put it in the back of a van, and then she was a free cow. It was a free cow. I’m sorry. You’re right. It was a free cow. My mom went and paid for a cow. She put the cow in the back of the van. It laid down. Then she went grocery shopping at Walmart, and then she went to pick up my brothers, and they opened the back doors to unload the groceries. And the groceries was moving. Moving. Scared the crap out of back in the day during the paper bags, right? Yeah. She failed to tell the that there was a cow in the back of the van. So I figure if that’s my mom, this guy might be my father. Took the cow out for a ride. Yeah, I saw this article, actually. It popped up in my feed, too, and that was just something crazy. So creative, though. Yeah, it’s a cool car. It looks like something from Mad Max. Yeah, definitely had some homemade qualities to it. Absolutely. Well, we got a few announcements. Hats are available@etsy.com. Nlcast they are now $20. That’s $5 discount. And that is a permanent discount. So if you haven’t gotten your hat yet, now’s the time. We even ship overseas and everything and Canada and all know. So anyway, subscribe to that story show’s YouTube channel Youtube.com slash at that story show. And the the theme show Fears and Tears is not working. We’ve got a grand total of two submitted stories that we will mix back into the overall mix. So we want a new theme. And here it is, our next theme show, only Canada Story. All Canada, all the time. So you heard it here, folks. Only Canada stories. If you live in Canada, Canada Stories, you send in your story hashtag Canada. And we will do an entire America’s hat show based on your stories. So get it in as soon as possible and we will play it. We will play your stuff. You can send in audio you can call our eight three three number. You can email us. You can use the web form that storyshow.com and then submit. Put that joker in. Also have one more announcement. It’s not as fun. We are sunsetting the weekly story contest, retiring. Yeah. The original purpose for it obviously was to award great storytellers and to generate more interest in submitting stories. And while it did that originally, the interest has waned and our stories levels have returned to normal, which is fine. We’re still doing great. But now we want to see if we can use those funds in a better way. If you remember originally we said that we would run it for two months, and we ran it for a lot longer than two. Did we did we break in there too? We gave it a good know overall, it ran for and I’m mad because I didn’t win. John, did you win? I did not. But even though I didn’t win a cash prize, I feel like a winner regardless. You’re such a sweetheart. You are. Jojo it’s right. It’s time for a featured story.
John Steinklauber [00:13:51]:
Let me tell y’all story. Let me tell y’all story.
James Kennison [00:13:57]:
Today’s featured story is an interactive story. One of the new things that we’re doing over there on that story show slash submit TJ Bunkhall, the submitted stories in the past, he’s a gentleman with Tourette’s, and he wanted to get on and share some stories of some of his ticks. I had a great time with him. Hi, folks, I’m here with an interactive story with TJ Bunkal. TJ, welcome to the show. Hi. I’m the guy of tourette. I sent in a story a while ago about me barking with some dogs. Remind us how that went again. Yeah, so the specific instance of that story was that I was working for a company called We Man. I have tourette’s, right? So one of my ticks would be barking. I would be on a job, and a dog would start barking at me. And then my ticks go, hey, these are my people. I’m going to start barking back. I would just start barking at them, not intentionally, and they would bark back at me, and it set me off. And then we just go back and forth. So what do you think the dog’s reaction was? Were they excited to have somebody speak dog, or were they angry? Usually they pause for a bit, like, is that what we sound like? Something like that. So I’ve been told I sound like a bigger dog. It’s something maybe like a German shepherd. I don’t know. I’m not super familiar with dogs. I didn’t grow up with them or anything. Right. And I still bark when I’m at work. And so I’ll be in the back of the store I work at, and customers will come up to the counter and they would like, is there a dog back here? And you work for a food establishment, so that’s not kosher. That’s not something somebody wants to hear. My coworkers know I have tourette’s. And so they would say, oh no, it’s just one of my coworkers. He has tourette’s. Yeah. We just scratch him under the chin and he goes back to work. I like to make him too happy. Joke that they’re going to go ballistic, go full Karen and say, you have a document there that’s so unsanitary. How dare. And that was just a few laughs that’s never happened. Hypothetical situation. It will. It’ll happen some karen will come in eventually. So what do you got for us today? So today I thought I’d share my tics about my co workers, actually. OK. Because you told me earlier one of your goals in life is to normalize or take the stigma off Tourette’s. Is that yeah. Yeah. Take the stigma away. Kind of make it funny. You don’t really want to laugh at disabilities. You don’t laugh at cancer. And it’s a chronic disability, essentially. But it’s something to be made light of. Every person with Tourette’s is going to be different. So everyone’s going to have their different preferences. But of everyone I talked to with Tourette’s, they always find ways to be funny about it. I never once heard of someone say, oh, if you make fun of it, I’m going to be mad at you. I mean, there’s a point to be sensitive and there’s a point to just ignore it. But in general, it’s best to just kind of be loose about it. Well, it’s better to laugh with somebody than to laugh at exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So I joke about my tourette’s. Quite a, um we had jokes in my family and my dad has something similar to Tourette’s. And so we get that quite a bit. I grew up with a friend with Tourette’s. I have all kinds of stories. And if we had 2 hours, I could just go back and forth about different stories. Nothing incredibly long, nothing with tons of background. Just funny instances over the years. I was diagnosed in October of 2009. And so it’s been 13 or so years since I was diagnosed. And so I went from being the shy kid that wouldn’t say anything to actually advocating for Tourette’s. Not like super public. I haven’t gone to Congress or anything like that. Right. But still, that’s huge. Taking what some people would call a disability and turning it into something that enables. Yeah. Yeah. So hit us with your best shot. You know about my Tourette’s, my Tourette’s, I tend to pick up random tics, different places. I’ve had tics where I would hear my roommate kiss his girlfriend and I would shout, get a room. I would hear someone humming Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, like July, August, just kind of out of nowhere. And I would start seeing Rudolph the red nosed Reindeer. My tick sound like a demon. So it’s not like I mean, not demon. It’s just that my voice gets really raspy, and so it’s not like my normal talking voice. And you would know an interesting difference I wish I could do on command. But of course, Tourette’s having performance anxiety, apparently. Yeah. But currently the demon’s not coming out right now, apparently. Yeah. My latest takes have been at work. Work for me has been a stressful situation. I worked the night shift. I’m a delivery driver, and there’s a lot of pros, but I’ve always ticked that work. It’s just always been something that I’ve been dealing with. And I picked up this tick from my coworkers. Two of the managers that I was working with one night, it’s like 1112 at night. They were talking trash about one of their fellow managers that has been there longer than either of them, yet these two outrank that guy. I was having a rough day ticking that day. And I went from barking, like, my usual tick, my usual go to tick to. I said, it’s all Tom’s fault. And so I would say that. And it’s funny. My coworkers will laugh, but at the same time, my general manager, one of the coworkers I was trash talking to this guy. It’s like, you can’t do that. Wheel green get in so much trouble because they kind of have a sense that I pick up what other people say. So if I were to pick that in front of him, I haven’t yet, I don’t think I will, he would know that people have been saying that. Yeah, that’s funny. It’s like a parrot repeating the bad words the old lady says. Exactly. And actually, that’s one of the funny things about my Tourette’s, is that the tick that is stereotypically, what goes with Tourette’s is people will curse randomly. I never had that tick. I’ve had every other kind of tick you can imagine but that one. Well, good. But this tick of all Tom’s fault transitioned into naming other managers. So it’s all Nick’s fault, it’s all Chandler’s fault, et cetera. And so now, whenever someone does something wrong or jokes being made about can’t think of a specific instance, like they’re being goofy, and I just blurt out, It’s all Nick’s fault, and a few people start cracking up. He’s like, Why is it me? So, yeah, it’s been fun to play with. Not play with intentionally. It’s not comfortable for me, right. But it’s fun to be made light of. It’s fun, kind of to make light of an odd situation, right? Every time I scare another one of my cokers, I scare every time. Every time I screech like a banshee or bark, she James, like, a mile high. Oh, bless her heart. Well, it’s even funnier because she has a friend with she. Before I met her, she was used to Tourette’s, and she would still jump with her friend. But mine are much worse than her Friends’and. So I just scare the crap out of her every time. And really, everyone, it’s kind of mean of me to say this, but I kind of get a kick out of it a little bit because I mean I mean, essentially, I’m suffering from cancer, sort of not really. Right. It’s uncomfortable for me, but there’s perks it’s kind of a relief to kind of give me a laugh. Yeah. Like I scared the crap out of you. I wasn’t even trying to. Right? Yeah. Nobody can get mad. No, no one can get mad. I mean, they can get mad, but the won’t get fired of it. Exactly. So go get some people tonight, all right? And your night shift. Get a few, folks, if you can. Well, thanks for sharing with me today. I appreciate you coming on the show, man. No worries. How can people get a hold of you on discord? On discord, I am TJ bunk. T as in golf. T. J as in the blue jay and bunk. Like bunk bed. Okay. And you said folks can get a hold of you and ask you questions about your condition and all that. Yeah. There’s no need to be afraid of asking questions. I, in fact, embrace them, though. Keep in mind that my answers might not be the same for everyone with Tourette’s. Gotcha. We’re going to jump right into the rest of the show. Peace. All right. Wasn’t that awesome? That was great. Thanks, TJ, for sharing. That’s hilarious. Yeah, he was great. He referenced and I never thought about it like that before. People with it’s a condition. Like he references it’s like cancer. You don’t laugh at cancer or you don’t laugh at those things, but certainly him at least making it light of it probably is a good way for him to deal with it. Yeah. To cope. To cope. Right. That’s a good word. Kudos to you, TJ, for allowing us to be part of your world. Yeah. Thanks for sharing yourself with us like that and being vulnerable. You had some really good funny moments in there. That was great. Let’s do some listener stories. All right. All right. Our first one is middle school drama. Dang it.
John Steinklauber [00:23:27]:
Move out of the way, stupid.
James Kennison [00:23:29]:
Hi, I’m Michaela. Mike. I’m glad the put the phonetic in there. I can’t read it’s. Micah. Mike. Hi, I’m Micah. And here’s my tale of woe. One day I jumped and flew out of the trampoline. I was bleeding, but I was fine after a trip to the Er. Hope it does or doesn’t make it on the show. Micah I’m going to play this one for him.
John Steinklauber [00:24:06]:
One of the many tools of the devil.
James Kennison [00:24:08]:
There you go. I get about a dozen of these a week, and I should just save them up and do, like, six in a row. Sometimes they’re one line. They’re just like, I fell out of a tree. I hope it makes it on the show. Every middle schooler ever. Oh, goodness. The best part is that? You said Micah called him Michaela. I’m sure you’ll love that. Fortunately, Micah put the phonetic spelling in there, and that took care of it for you. It did. I would have not even reread it. I would have just went on with Michaela. I don’t even know. I put so many new letters in his name. Well, let’s do a quick word from our sponsors. All right, John, reuse the story. This comes to us from Lonnie in Texas. And this is Sibling shock. First, let me say that I’m thrilled to see that Red school bus has made a return. Yeah, I’ve been enjoying catching up on the episodes while I work. Awesome. I am the youngest of six, and at 56, I’ve come to realize that many of the childhood memories I thought were real were actually lies and tricks concocted by my four older brothers. Evil. My second oldest brother, who is about ten years older than me, was notorious for his practical jokes and mean tricks often enlisting my brothers to join him in the mischief we lived in what I considered a sizable house at the time, featuring a small back porch connecting to the kitchen. On this porch sat an upright freezer that had a peculiar short circuit. It generally wasn’t an issue unless you were touching something grounded, and the side of the freezer simultaneously only killed a couple of us. No big deal. Yeah, we get some milk from the freezer. Or ice cream, I guess you don’t get milk from the freezer, do you? No, but dad will get around to fixing it eventually when he runs out of kids. There’s six of them. Well, a few feet away from the porch, there was a water faucet protruding from the ground. Oh, good. Great. And one day, one of my brothers stationed himself with a hand on the freezer while the other knelt with one hand on the spigot. I was easily irritated as a young child, making it quite simple for someone to provoke me into chasing them around the house. As we rounded the corner of the house, a person I was chasing darted between the two, and naturally, I followed. As I passed them, they each grabbed one of my arms, completing an electrical circuit. Being in the middle, I received the full shock. It wasn’t enough to cause physical harm, but it left a lasting memory the day the turned a freezer into a shocking adventure. Good one. An electrified memory that I recall vividly even after 50 years. Wow. Thanks, Lonnie. I got a story called Scary Situation from Jamie Good in Springfield, Illinois. He says my mom is startled very easily. So, as most kids would, we took every opportunity to scare her. And things have not changed as we’ve grown into adults. Yeah, that’s why I never told my kids. I am super easily startled, and I’m so glad that I kept that a secret. And they never figured it out because they are suckers, man. They don’t listen to the show, too. I would be dead. Yeah, they think everything dad does is dumb. So, yeah, it’s a blessing. One day, my in laws were visiting, and my parents wanted to get together for dinner at Chili. So we pulled into the restaurant and noticed my mom and dad were sitting with their backs to the window, and I saw my opportunity. Done it. I quickly parked the car. Done it. I ran up to the window. Dun dun. I gave it a couple of good pounds, and my mom screamed so loud, you could hear it in the parking lot. I had a good laugh. I had a good laugh as I gathered up the family and walked into the restaurant. Oh, I’m so funny. Normally, when you walked into a restaurant, there’d be some sort of noise from everybody conversating and enjoying their dinner. However, when we walked in, it was dead silent, and everyone was angrily staring at my mom. All I saw was her back to the window from my side, but everyone else saw her facing the entrance to the restaurant. So when she let out her blood curling scream, everyone inside thought someone with a gun had just walked in. Chili’s briefly started to take active shooter protocol before realizing someone had just gotten scared. My mom and dad were extremely embarrassed. Not only did I scare my mom, but I inadvertently scared the entire restaurant. Good job, Jamie. And nobody got their baby back ribs that night. Scaredy cat ribs. Chili’s. Baby back ribs. All right, everybody hit the floor. You too, lady. Yeah, especially you. I’m going to get a cactus blossom or somebody’s going to get it. I don’t even know what they serve at Chili’s anymore. Do they still do that commercial with the baby back ribs? I don’t even know. I don’t know. Was that chili’s? Yeah, chili’s baby back ribs. Chili’s, baby back ribs. I was big in the think. Yeah, I think they brought it back commercial at one point, but yeah. Baby back, baby back. Yeah. I used to think the song was about losing your girlfriend because it started off, I want my baby back. But then it goes into the ribs and it all makes sense. Yeah, it comes together. It’s very well done. Yes. It’s an earworm, as they would say. Yeah. I love humming it. Do you? I do. No, you don’t want it’s my favorite song. I wish Taylor Swift would cover it. That would be awesome. Taylor, if you’re listening, please cover it. Yeah. And if you’re listening, please come on the show, because, yeah, that would be me and my son. Love you. It’s the only thing we have in condom. It’s the only thing we have in common. What? I don’t even know what that is. Compose myself so I can get into this next story. Anyway, me and my son share a love of Taylor Swift. That’s all I was trying to say. We have that in common. Appreciation. I don’t know where your mind went, John, but I said I thought you were talking about place where you put a lot of people what is it called? Condos? Yeah. Condominiums. Condominiums. There you go. Thanks for helping me with that. We should probably move on. I got a story here from Seth Kleinworth in Omaha. Omaha, Nebraska? Yeah. Wow. Well, Seth, we’re happy to have your story. This is a strobe light. In 7th grade, I was part of our church’s youth group, but I ended up being the only boy in junior high that year. Oh, wow. That could either be great or terrible. Yeah. Every year we had this event called Winter Blast, which was a short weekend retreat for 7th and 8th graders at Camp Horse. This being Iowa, in the winter, it was colder than a snowman sneeze outside. Oh, that’s cute. That’s cute. It’s cute. How cold is the snowman? Sneeze. So as boys do when nature calls, we didn’t exactly brave the cold for the sake of proprietary no. We opted for a more expedient approach and use the porch as our personal restroom. Yeah. So picture this it’s dark outside, but luckily there’s a porch light to guide the way. I step out to take care of business, and just as I start, the light starts flickering on and off like a disco ball gone haywire. Chaos ensues, and the entire cabin starts hollering, strobe light. Strobe light. I jumped so hard, I almost went off the porch into my own puddle. The other boys had the time of their lives because they literally scared the pee out of me with this unexpected light show. It was a weekend of unexpected hilarity. Oh, God. Thank you, Seth, for that embarrassing story of relieving yourself to the have you ever been scared while you’re peeing? Like actively peeing? Because it comes out harder when you get scared. It’s like somebody turned a faucet. Think I I don’t think I have. Yeah, now I have. Like, somebody’s pushed me. Like when I was in the bathroom. You know how guys used to do. Nobody does this nowadays. To me, at least in the bathroom, somebody pushing that kind of gives you a little bit of jolt. No. I was in Boy Scouts and I was standing on two two X fours over a hole in the ground. And I was concentrating because it was dark. And I had finally worked up the courage to get there. Somebody freaking comes out and yells, and I swear I came off the ground like Buzz Lightyear. A jet propulsion dream. I went to infinity because everything just tensed up. It’s like, I don’t know, squeezing a little packet of ketchup and it just goes everywhere. I surprised it didn’t blow out my belly button. We got a voicemail. It’s from Jess. And Jess, we’ve heard from her. We heard from her last. Another I like her unique way of telling stories. She shares them with her daughter and records the thing. It’s genius, really. So it’s awesome. Here we go. Might start a trend. Yeah, I hope so. I mean, you can always do the interactive story if you don’t have a kid. And you can tell your story to me like TJ Bunkall did at that story show slash Submit. So, anyway, here we go.
John Steinklauber [00:34:33]:
Do you want to hear one more story? Yeah.
James Kennison [00:34:35]:
Okay.
John Steinklauber [00:34:35]:
One more. All right. So one time when we were all at the cottage, we were probably teens, Aunt Weezy and I, and we were going for a boat ride. So Grandma, Papa, Aunt Wheezy and myself are on the okay. So we take off. We push off from the dock, and we’re floating away. We’re in the middle of the lake, and all of a sudden, Papa sees a huge mama dock spider that is on the boat. Okay.
James Kennison [00:35:10]:
Mama dock.
John Steinklauber [00:35:12]:
He tries to stay chill and calm because he knows that Aunt Wheezy and I are terrified of spiders.
James Kennison [00:35:19]:
Did you tell them?
John Steinklauber [00:35:21]:
What do you mean? Did he tell you? Well, we ended up seeing that there was this ginormous mama spider, like, huge. A dock spider? Like, spread out your hand, like, almost the size of your hand. They’re huge. They’re huge and hairy and awful. Okay. So anyways, Pup takes a paddle and whacks the mama spider off of the boat into the water, and then he floors it, so he speeds away in the boat. But it’s a pontoon boat, and it doesn’t go very fast, so even at the top speed, it’s not going super fast. Right. So at this point, Aunt Weezy and I are screaming because we see the mama spider sprinting on top of the water back to the boat because her babies are on board.
James Kennison [00:36:21]:
Oh, no.
John Steinklauber [00:36:23]:
And the mama spider gets back on the boat, flipping out, and then Papa grabs the paddle and whacks it back and into the water, and it comes back for the boat again, and it’s just a horrifying experience. I think he finally ended up killing it. I can’t remember. I think I passed out from fear.
James Kennison [00:36:48]:
That’s great. Awesome. Thank you so much. Did you notice okay, she’s Canadian, but did you notice the little girl’s accent? Did you hear that is Irish? Yes. She lives in Ireland with her Irish husband and her children, who have picked up the accent from the area. That’s awesome. Yeah. Love it. Matter of fact, I was like, wait a second. That voice, that’s a little different. Editor, go ahead and throw that voice in here right now so we can hear it again.
John Steinklauber [00:37:20]:
Did he tell you? Well, he didn’t want you to freak out.
James Kennison [00:37:24]:
Well, see how cute that is? That’s precious. That’s awesome. Anyway, I want to hear a story from the kid one day. Yes. If you want me to say ukulele, I’ll say ukulele. Ukulele. Ukulele. Ukulele, any of our listeners abroad. I want to hear you tell your story in that manner. Okay. I don’t want to be a spoiler, but the theme show idea is going to spread across the world. But we’re starting with Canada. Canada starts, but I might have had him say a few other countries as well. I was about to ask you if you did that or if you had somebody do that. Yeah, no, that’s not me. Very nice. It’s a giant black dude who did a great job. All Canada, all the time. Nice. All right. It’s time for us to think about and talk about the people that make this podcast possible because of our members who support us even though they don’t have to. It’s a free show and they do it anyway, thanks to our members. Get your show perks. Have you gotten your show perks? Show perks are things like ad free listening swag and weekly bonus podcasts that we do called stuff that Wouldn’t fit on the show. We do it every single week. If you want your podcast perks, go to patreon.com, slash that storyshow. You get access to patron only stuff and you ask our patrons. The number one way to interact with me is through Patreon. You get all kinds of behind the scenes stuff. You get to see stuff before anybody else. I posted one of our YouTube shorts on there today that’s not going to go live until next week. So there’s a lot there, so we make it worth your while. If you can do if you can’t, don’t worry about it. It’s free. You don’t have to. It’s free. And we love you regardless. Absolutely. We love you. A little more if you’re a patron. Yeah, just a little bit more. Thanks to our newest members. Colleen, Flash, Jervis, Matthew Harrison, Jamie Good, Mitchell Sink, Mars and Christine Diedrich. We thank you so much for helping us out and being on there for us. Tammy, Debrak. Also, I want to mention her name. So special thanks to our producers James Spangler, Kerry Wright and Christopher Tynan. All right. Surely you have a funny life story. Send it into the show. Submit your story at thatstory show. Call us toll free. 8355 story. You can tell us your story through there. And while you’re there, join our mailing list. It would be awesome. And remember, hilarious stories. We all have one, so you need to share yours on that story show. See what I did there? Yeah. Pretty slick for a 50 year old man. Do it. You want me to say it again? No, I won’t. Yes. Okay. Doc, spider mama floating on the water. She’s going to get back on the boat and eat your brother. Her babies are on there. 103. You try to throw her out, but you can’t get rid of me because I’m a boat spider. I mean a dock spider. I got a whole lot of little baby eggs inside. I’m going to spill them out on your pontoon boat. I’m going to crawl up and tickle your throat like I did. The guy who was sleeping in his cabin, he tried to pee off the side and they wouldn’t even have it. They started flashing lights and the made fun of him and he almost fell down in his puddle. Had to swim. And that’s all I got today. So we’re going to wrap it up. We’ll see you next week. And I won’t say condom again. Yeah, sorry about that, guys. Bye.
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