219: Slap Your Mom

This week James wants to slap over-protective, helicopter parents for their children’s bad behaviors… and then he sings about it.

This week’s clean comedy stories:

John’s son is “that” kid at camp that won’t shower and get’s scared at night. James has problems with the behavior of the children and parents at most events he attends. John get’s a Father’s Day, James’ son J has a meltdown at the swim meet. John gives us a Mancave update. J’s saving his Jamba Juice sticker till he gets a Device. John’s youngest son is King of the W****s. and James celebrates 18 years of marriage by having his first Senior Moment.

Question of the Weak:

  • Luke: Perfect arches. Cause my feet are flatter than pancakes on a Tarmac.
  • Chris: They would be hands.
  • Patrick: The power of invisibility. While impractical, it would be great to freak people out.
  • Zane: The ability to pass through computer screens. I know a lot internet tough guys and idiots who need a kick in the face
  • Lucas: The power to ignore Legos and then to build something amazing out of said Legos.
  • Jeremy – Dog Poop Resistance
  • John: The ability to clear an entire room when I remove my shoes. Oh wait, I already have that super power.
  • Misty: To adjust to any shoes I wear like heels and not hurt later
  • Kyle: To be able to walk to a pre-determined location while I’m asleep. This would combine sleeping, exercise, and travel time.
  • Jared: prehensile toes
  • Forest: The ability to dance appropriately to the music (at will… I don’t want someone to play a striptease song and not be able to control myself)
  • Me: I would want an alien symbiote that could turn into any kind of footwear, or gear… including tennis shoes, flip-flops, flippers, skis, roller skates, skateboards or even just toe-socks.
  • Keith: The power to run really fast, while holding a 25 pound toddler on each foot.
  • Adrian: The ability to command other feet to do my bidding.
  • Quinn: Turn into bats and fly away.
  • Tom: Healing that works when you walk on people.
  • Peter: As a father to two kids and husband to my wife, I’d have to go with vacuum cleaner feet. Everywhere I’d walk I’d just suck up all the dirt, food crumbs, Legos and melty beads.
  • Me: I want to give my foot powers to my kids so that when it’s time to go their shoes and socks zip onto their feet automatically!
  • Fintan: I would want em’ to fart
  • Charlie: The power to keep and grow as a French pendi with high gloss and all.
  • Johnathan: The super power to jump back in time for about five minutes… that’d be AWESOME… so like, if I say something stupid, I could either take it back, or I could think of some funny comeback.

Listener stories/feedback:

Randy is excited to have found the show. Joy has a friend who dated a Shusher. Zane’s wife thinks he pees in the corner of the bedroom. Middle Schooler Scott drops his towel in the toilet. Bunny Slippers Man rocks our world with an accidental obscene photo. Middle Schooler Red21 has his junk grabbed by a drowning sibling. Heather shares a touching story when during a treatment for Lyme Disease a story by John changed her tears of pain into tears of joy. PLUS Nobody’s Listening is responsible for a human baby that is being germinated at his moment.

Links mentioned: